The Agile Business Innovation‘s Podcast

Drama to Winner

One of the tools we use is transactional analysis or TA. We've been talking about different concepts such as conflicts or psychological games, how you get into games and now we're talking about how to get out of games or conflict.

One of the ways to describe games is through the drama triangle, created by a guy called Stephen Karpman, who said in every conflict or every psychological game we can identify three roles.

Secret Exit Doors

In this series of videos we’re looking at transactional analysis or TA. We were talking about conflicts and psychological games and how to get into conflict. But now we're also talking about how to get out of conflict.

So we've talked about why people get into games and how you can diminish the need for games. We've talked about the drama triangle and how to switch into the winner’s triangle. Now we're going to talk about the game formula and all the exit doors we have to get out of games. Even if you're into conflict already, it requires some discipline, but it is possible.

How To Get Out of Psychological Games

We're recording a series of videos to teach you about transactional analysis. We use TA in executive coaching and team coaching because it's simple, easy to understand and easy to transfer.

Clients love it.

In this series we've been talking about ego states, transactions, games, rackets. This time I want to talk to you about how to get out of conflict or psychological games.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

One of the tools I use is Transactional Analysis. We've been doing a series on the various concepts, and now we're talking about psychological games. Psychological games are unconscious, non problem-solving patterns of behaviour that lead to a known pay-off. Games are the thing that costs organizations and marriages most, and affect our quality of life.

As an executive coach I frequently dealt with people who want coaching to become a better leader or to help change the organization. Often by the fourth or fifth session they become a bit pensive, and tell me their marriage isn't going so well either. Of course in real life private life and work life isn't that separated. The patterns you have at work very similar to the patterns you have at home.

One of the things that cost businesses the most both psychologically and financially is the fact that people play psychological games with each other. One of the things the Gottmans talk about is the relational patterns that get people into trouble. They can predict how long couples will stay together by measuring transactional patterns. His work doesn’t isn’t only applicable to marriages, but also or your relationships at work. The Four Horseman of the Apocalypse at Work...

How To Stay in Your Old Games – Formula G Enhanced

One of the tools we use to help people change is called transactional analysis or TA for short. We've been talking about ego states, the building blocks of personality, how people communicate effectively. Now we're talking about how people stay in their old stories without solving their problems.

One way is to racketeer, another is discounting. We talked about games as an unconscious, non problem solving, patterns of behaviour that lead you to a known pay-off.

Eric Berne, the founder of TA, talks about psychological games using his Formula G or formula games.

The Trash is Still In The House – Games People Play

We're looking at using Transactional Analysis as a tool in change, about ego states and transactions, redefinitions, discounting and racketeering.

We're now going to talk about games, psychological games.

Eric Berne, the founder of TA wrote a book called Games People Play, a kind of dictionary for all the ways in which people get into conflicts and maintain their old stories.

The Cycle of Resistance will help you Introduce Change

Transactional Analysis is one of the tools we use in executive coaching or team coaching to help businesses transform.

We just talked about discounting, which is a way to ignore the information in the environment that could help you solve a problem. It's one of the biggest issues in businesses because all the information is at hand, but people don't use it to think clearly to solve problems.

There are different levels of discounting.

5 Ways of Discounting and Why You Should be Careful

Today we're going to talk about discounting, which is another way in which we distort reality.

Discounting is when you're faced with a problem and you ignore any information that could help you solve it.

The Saxophone Story - Discounting

When I was a kid, I really wanted to play saxophone because I listened to jazz records, and it looked and sounded really cool and sexy. I thought, “Okay, that’s the instrument I want to play.”

I had a conversation with my mom, the musician in the family, and I told her I really wanted to play the saxophone. It looks really sexy and cool. She said, “Let's talk about this. If you want to play the saxophone, you have to play a classical instrument first and we'll start with the piano.”

Conflict Resolution - What Are The Feelings Underneath?

We were talking about styles and types of conflict. Now we're going to talk about conflict resolution. Conflicts are something that appear in our daily life, but also over a lifetime as well. I sometimes wonder what does a conflict actually mean? A conflict can be the pathway to redeciding your life.

For instance: You start fighting about who puts out the trash, and you end up walking away thinking, “nobody loves me anyway!”. Or you're fighting about who puts out the trash, and you walk away thinking, “I always have to do everything around here!”. Or you walk away and think “Tenderness is more important than trash”. Conflict can be a pathway to reconfirmation of what you already know, or a conflict can create a doorway to something new in your life.